Is there any way to control your dreams? Apparently not.
I've been having trouble sleeping for the past few months, at the very least. One of the quickest ways to put you to sleep is to get yourself drunk, and it works. However, that requires around ten small Tiger cans. With that many cans, I say I can go into sleep before I realize that I am going to. However, the trouble starts in early morning when I am half asleep and half awake, or more asleep than awake. Those moments of "I'm not here" make me not only see images, mostly nightmarish, but also think. In the thinking moments, almost solely because of the devastating effects of the pandemic on my business, I find talking to myself, "the end is near. You should get yourself ready to disappear into nothingness." Perhaps, there are two things that keep me from going there; books that I've bought but not arrived yet. (This in itself is contributing to the deterioration of the quality of my life because of the cost for purchasing new books); and my fragile determination to prove wrong the man who said, "One who has gone through a bout of depression will kill himself."
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