The Secret Language of Feelings

“The Secret Language of Feelings”
The Wisdom of Feeling Frustrated

Over a period of time, the Primary Feeling* and our frustration at not being able to satisfy our needs can intensify to the point of being intolerable.  When the pain we’re suffering becomes greater than our nervous systems can tolerate, the body kicks in with the Tertiary Feeling† in our model, depression.  Depression says, “I need to take a break before trying again.”  When we stop trying to satisfy the need, want or desire generating the pain of the Primary Feeling, our feelings of frustration will immediately begin to fade.  However, our need still remains unmet.  (p. 143)

*There are sight Primary Feelings: boredom, anger, guilt, sadness, loneliness, inadequacy, stress and fear
†Tertiary Feeling is depression and another feeling (Secondary) is frustration.

[For creative solutions of frustration, t]ry something outrageously different, something you wouldn’t have even considered doing before.  (p. 147)

The Wisdom of Feeling Depressed

The cycle of effort leading to depression is equivalent to an automobile spinning its wheels on a slippery surface….  It’s time to take a rest, cool down and replenish ourselves.  (p. 151)

We feel hopeless, and hopelessness depresses our motivation, leading to the inaction that marks depression.

Thus, depression is best understood as a message of hopelessness.  Seen in this light, hope and depression are opposites.  Being mutually exclusive, depression and hopefulness cannot both exist in the same place.  (p. 152)

… It’s entirely possible that during your [rest and replenish] period, your subconscious has been busy figuring out a whole list of satisfying responses!  This is especially true if you were giving yourself a healthy, restful break – not wearing yourself out with feeling guilty for feeling depressed. (pp. 154-155)

I MUST SAY THIS IN A VERY LOUD VOICE.
I FEEL INTOLERABLY INPATIENT WHEN SOMEONE’S RESPONSE TO MY DEPRESSION IS UNINFORMED, INADEQUATE, SIMPLY WRONG OR NOT UNDERSTANDING ENOUGH, WHICH CERTAINLY LEADS TO MORE ISOLATION OF MYSELF.  IN THE FIRST PLACE, THERE ARE VERY FEW TO WHOM I EVEN CONSIDER CONFIDING.  THUS, HOPE DOES NOT ARISE AT ALL OUT OF CONFIDING IN MOST CASES.  MY DISAPPOINTMENT, IN NO DOUBT, BECOMES DEEPER.  IT IS CERTAINLY POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE BEEN CHOOSING THE WRONG PEOPLE.  THEN WHERE ARE THE RIGHT PEOPLE??