In Bed for a Day and Half

今日は正午前に目覚めた。だが、いつから眠っていたのか？17日の午前１時だったか２時だったかに眠ったような気がする。思い出すと、いったん午後３時頃に起きて、コンピューターの電源を入れた後、そのままベッドに戻ってしまったようだ。食事もせず、トイレにも行かずに。そうだとすると、ほぼ丸１日半をベッドで過ごしていたことになる。眠っていても聴覚だけは反応していることがよくあって、近くのコンド工事現場の音や、外で話す人の声が聞こえたりしていた。悪夢にうなされていた訳でもなく、何でそんなに長く寝てしまったのだろう？

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What is my métier?? There has been no real satisfaction or serene uplifting of mind in what I’ve done in my career so far. The teaching job I had back home was so money-oriented, and I didn’t not consider it as anything educational or even remotely serious. Many students expected to be spoon-fed and “learning English” was just a faddish phenomenon influenced by the irresponsible commercial media of Japan. The company went bankrupt eventually. A writing job was really inspiring and made me feel that I was doing something, but then when the lunch break was not a break and dinner had to be delayed until 10 pm or later, it was not a mystery at all that it took a toll on my physical and mental health.

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Yangon? Ho Chi Minh? Hanoi? And then??