Books of This Year

Books, 2007:
“The Secret Language of Feelings” (Calvin D. Banyan)
「ガセネッタ＆シモネッタ」(米原万里)*
「魔女の１ダース」(米原万里)*
「ロシアは今日も荒れ模様」(米原万里)
“Stalin: The Court of the Red Tsar” (Simon Sebag Montefiore)
“Nehru: A Political Life” (Judith M. Brown)
“Uncovering Clinton” (Michael Isikoff)
“The Noonday Demon: An Anatomy of Depression” (Andrew Solomon)*
“Findings: Fifty Years of Meditations on Music” (Leonard Bernstein)
“The Infinite Variety of Music” (Leonard Bernstein)
“The Joy of Music” (Leonard Bernstein)
“Ousted!” (Patrick Keith)
“Reflections on ASEAN” (Mahathir Mohamad)
「不実の美女か貞淑な醜女（ブス）か」(米原万里)*
“Darkness Visible” (William Styron)
“Between Peace and War” (Richard Ned Lebow)
“Power and Interdependence” (Robert O. Keohane and Joseph S. Nye)
“The Human Factor” (Graham Greene)
「行人」(夏目漱石)*
「こころ」(夏目漱石)*
“Sophie’s Choice” (William Styron)
“Shared Responsibility and Unshared Power” (Ho Khai Leong)
“The Ministry of Fear” (Graham Greene)*
“Travels with My Aunt” (Graham Greene)*
“The Heart of the Matter” (Graham Greene)
“The Power and the Glory” (Graham Greene)
“The Comedians” (Graham Greene)
“At Canaan’s Edge” (Taylor Branch)
“A Burnt-Out Case” (Graham Greene)*
「嘘つきアーニャの真っ赤な真実」(米原万里)
“Stamboul Train” (Graham Greene)
“Woodward and Bernstein: Life in the Shadow of Watergate” (Alicia C. Shepard)
“All the President’s Men” (Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein)
「白い巨塔（第１巻）」(山崎豊子)
「白い巨塔（第２巻）」(山崎豊子)
「白い巨塔（第３巻）」(山崎豊子)
「白い巨塔（第４巻）」(山崎豊子)
「虚構大学」(清水一行)
「二つの祖国（上巻）」(山崎豊子)
「大地の子（第１巻）」(山崎豊子)
「白い巨塔（第５巻）」(山崎豊子)
「大地の子（第２巻）」(山崎豊子)
「大地の子（第３巻）」(山崎豊子)
「大地の子（第４巻）」(山崎豊子)
「二つの祖国（中巻）」(山崎豊子)
「二つの祖国（下巻）」(山崎豊子)
“The Final Days” (Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein)
「今夜、すべてのバーで」(中島らも)
「さかだち日記」(中島らも)
“Orientalism” (Edward W. Said)
“Milosevic: A Biography” (Adam LeBor)
「外国語としての日本語：その教え方・学び方」(佐々木瑞枝)*
*Repeat

*

「はばたけホークス」（発行所：株式会社南海ホークス、編集室：ペンデザインスタディ）の表紙、その他を写した。同誌は76年９月に創刊。年４回発行の予定だった。ところが第５号であえなく廃刊。第２号の後に払い込んだ年間購読料1000円は戻ってこなかった。第６号が届かないので、株式会社南海ホークスに電話で問い合わせると、ペンデザインスタディが倒産したとのことだったと記憶する。

第５号（表紙はもうひとつピントの合ってない藤田学）の最終ページにある「編集室メモ」には、「……結局、これと言って何１つできなかったことにも、後髪を引かれる思いをしております。各方面の皆様方に、多大のご協力をいただきながら、満足の行く編集ができなかったことを深くお詫びいたします。

来年は、再び４月から今年どおりの発行をする予定でおりますが、皆様の一層のご協力をお願いする次第です」。

「今年どおりの発行をする予定」と書きながら、もうこれでおしまいとも解釈できる内容か。中学生の1000円を返して。はばたかなかった「はばたけホークス」……。

*

来期、ソフトバンクが南海ホークスのユニフォームを復刻して、数試合で使用するかもしれないらしい。やめてもらいたい。現在、同じ「ホークス」を名乗っていても、福岡は「ライオンズ」の土地であって、ソフトバンクと南海を結び付けられない。

"The Singapore Story"

Two nights ago, I stared “The Singapore Story,” which I bought rather many years ago but toward which I had not felt very strong, to say the least. Only after a few pages of the book, we can look into the man’s mindset.

“We played with fighting kites, tops, marbles and even fighting fish. These games nurtured a fighting spirit and the will to win. I do not know whether they prepared me for the fight I was to have later in politics.” (p. 32)

“Had [his mother] been born one generation later and continued her education beyond secondary school, she could easily have become an effective business executive.” (p. 34)

A fighting spirit learned from those boys’ games and its connection to his later political struggle and an allusion to a “business executive”… It demonstrates how radically different he is from me and vice versa. My own life has no place for fight or competition and a strong drive toward business, i.e. creating material wealth.

Photo Processing Continues

朝方、久しぶりに蚊に襲われた。雨続きでまた蚊の繁殖か。

*

甲子園球場での阪神巨人戦の写真がある。昨日から昭和52年のものなのか、53年のものなのかわからなくて困っている。入場券を確認すると、両年の７月30日に甲子園に行っているではないか。２年続けて同じ日に行った記憶がない。ただ、田淵は「股間打撲」で欠場中で、写真の試合には出場していないなかった思う。写真からわかるのは、阪神先発が古沢憲司で、おそらく巨人は西本聖だったことと、試合は巨人が勝ったこと。７月30日ということはオールスター明けのカード。本当に田淵が出てなかったら、彼はオールスターにも出場していなかったはず。

*

おぉぉぉ。田淵がオールスターに出てないのは昭和52年。写真の試合は、この年に違いない。解決したように思う。しかし、翌年に甲子園に行った記憶がないのはなぜ？

*

I’ve finally managed to book a hotel room in HCM City. It is quite cheap (US$15 per night) but the amenities include Wi-Fi internet connection at the lobby. Sounds good enough.

I processed and stored in my PC the photos of “Tanglewood” (August 1987) and Hawks ballgames (double-header, May 1976).

Digitizing My History

I’ve spent hours and hours since this morning to digitize my old photos using COOLPIX. Only half way through, I needed to charge the battery. Photos of my childhood and baseball games, but there are still so many more to go. Those taken in the US, Korea and Taiwan, and of my working days in Japan also should be processed. While the macro mode is a very useful function, I realized, with this mode, some photos become blurry even if they are originally well-focused. I believe that an image scanner will do a better job. And I recognized (once again) my father’s nice skill in photography, looking at those he had taken. After all, he was a man who was developing photos he had taken in the darkroom, though it was before I was born. In his days, cameras didn’t have an autofocus function. My Olympus OM1, which I got when I was thirteen, didn’t have it either. It was your own skill that counted.

*

I think about creating a website exclusively committed to the Hawks photos and memorabilia. As far as I know, the sites that now exist are mostly (or all?) about the post-Nomura era. I would upload the photos I’m still keeping alive. Perhaps one reason why the existing sites are about the last few years of the club is that people who created and are managing the sites are quite young. And those folks who still remember the Nomura-era seem too old even to imagine creating a website. (Hahaha! I’m too young to know the Tsuruoka-era.)

*

再読だが、今年最後の１冊。「外国語としての日本語：その教え方・学び方」（佐々木瑞枝）。

形容詞や動詞の変化は、自分も教えていて経験したことだが、それ以外にいろいろと重要な指摘がある。例えば、「継続動詞」と「瞬間動詞」。「車が走っています」（現在進行形）と「車が止まっています」の違いだ。自動詞と他動詞の差異。「お金が儲かる」と「お金を儲ける」や「コップが割れました」と「コップが割れてしまいました」の違い。

さらに日本語で使われる「漢語」について、著者は「漢語には四拍語（大学、結婚、解約、状態など）が最も多いという調査結果がある。……「高校卒業」を「高卒」と言ったり、「特別急行」と「特急」と言ったり、短縮することで、また新たな四拍語を作り出す。……漢語は四拍語にしたほうが落ちつくといった、語感に対する無意識の作用も働いているのではないだろうか。

『外人は差別用語だと聞きました。なぜ、正式に外国人と言わないのでしょう』と留学生から言われたことがある。……日本人の側に立って弁明すると、差別の意識など微塵もなく、単に四拍語だから落ちつくといった原因があるのではないだろうか」とも述べている。

*

I received an invoice from Mt. E Hospital. Why? I’d already paid directly to the doctor…

Camera Arrived!!

The camera arrived tonight. It is so much smaller than I expected!! And I found out that I needed an outlet adaptor for battery charge as its specifications are all according to the Japanese standard, making me run to TB Plaza to get the adaptor. Coming back home, I immediately started charging the battery or so I thought. The indicator began flashing, which means it is being charged. The manual says that it takes about 100 minutes to complete the charging. After three hours, the indicator was still flashing and I referred to the thicker manual and it says, if it is rapidly flashing, the battery is having trouble. BOOOOO!! I removed it from the charger and reinserted it into it. Then steady flashing, which I needed to find… NOW IT IS FULLY CHARGED.

Benazir Killed in Suicide Bomb!!!

Bhutto killed in suicide attack (Al Jazeera)

Benazir Bhutto, the former Pakistani prime minister, has been killed in a suicide bomb attack on an election rally in the city of Rawalpindi

At least 15 others were also killed in the attack with another report saying at least 20 bodies were seen at the rally site after the explosion.

"It was a suicide attack. We don't know the number of casualties as yet. It happened just outside the venue. The attacker blew himself up when people were dispersing after the rally," an interior ministry spokesman said

Al Jazeera's Sohail Rahman reporting from Islamabad said several hundred people had attended the rally.

Milosevic, Butcher or Victim

I’ve reached the end of “Milosevic.” It seems that Slobodan Milosevic’s life was at least in part controlled by his wife, Mira. However, considering that his religious father left his family when he is still young and his mother was protective and dogmatic and also both of them committed suicide, it may be little wonder that, for him, Mira, another dogmatic woman, was the only person he could completely trust.

And was he “the butcher of the Balkans”? He displayed strong hatred toward the Bosnian Serb leaders, Radovan Karadzic and General Ratko Mladic. Was it Milosevic’s tactical maneuvering just to stay in power? I do not know. But more prominent to me is the hypocrisy of some of the leaders of the West.

After Milosevic signed the Dayton agreement 0f 1995, which ended the Bosnian war, Douglas Hurd, a former British foreign secretary, approached him for a deal to privatize Serbian state companies, along with Pauline Neville-Jones, who had acted as the head of the British delegation at Dayton. And Bill Clinton’s phone call to chitchat with him?

At the time of the publishing of this paperback edition (2003), Slobodan Milosevic was still in the dock at The Hague. He would die there in March 2006. The Yugoslav leadership had produced a statement, signed by Federal President, Vojislav Kostunica, Serbian President, Milan Milutinovic and Serbian Prime Minister Zoran Djindjic, that said, “The criminal proceedings before the Belgrade Distric Court against Slobodan Milosevic, former President of the Republic of Serbia, FRY, and President of the Socialist Party of Serbia, were not undertaken in response to the demand of the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia…” And another brief document made it clear that “Slobodan Milosevic will not be handed over to any judicial or other institution outside the country.” See what happened to him…

Incoherent Short Stories

Xmas holiday is over. Nothing to do with me though a few people very kindly sent me well-wishing messages to my phone.

*

In bed for more than 20 hours. A few incoherent short stories.

A scene of downtown Kyoto seen from a high building or airplane. The meteorologist was saying, “Now in Kyoto, the visibility is only one meter.” The city was covered with fog, but it seemed to me the visibility was not so bad.

*

I found many not-so-large cardboard boxes and a few tin containers in front of the family’s Kyoto house. Tin containers for storing off-season clothes people were using before plastic ones appeared. Apparently the day of moving. Mother and brother were ready to go. But I had not been told about moving at all…

And music was sounding in my head… one of the pieces my neighbor often practices.

*

らも氏が「さかだち日記」で語っている「頭が割れて、そこからうどんがヌルヌル出ていて、その前で花魁が三味線を弾いてる」幻覚よりはずいぶん健全か。

*

A cheap Ho Chi Minh hotel I tried to book though a website is full during my visit. Not convinced, I tried another website and am now waiting the reply. An interesting thing is that different websites list different rates for the same one hotel.

I'm That Beautiful Mt. Fuji

イライラするのは、きっと言いたいこと、爆発したいことを、ずっとこらえてきたからだろう。いや、まだ言っても言っても、言い足りないことが山のようにあるのだろう。こらえているという意識が爆発すべき時にあっても、それを押さえ込んでしまうメカニズムが脳内に埋め込まれてしまっているようだ。「話してどうなる」と。タブーに浸って育てばそうなるのかもしれない。真正面から話をしたくても、落ち着いた会話が成立せず、言い争いになるだけだったり……。本当に深くえぐられるように傷ついた時には、反論せずに黙ってその場を去りたい思うだけ。休火山かな。噴火すると、自らの形を醜く変えることにもなるのだけど。

Let Me Sleep!! (Round Trip Booked...)

「さっさと眠りに落ちる」などと書いてしまったためかどうか知らんが、全く眠れなかった。午後10時には睡眠準備完了。そのうち眠るだろうと思いながら“Milosevic”を読み進めた。11時半、読むのをやめて眠ろうとしたが午前０時半になってもダメ。Epilimを２錠飲んだが、３時になっても眠れないのでベッドから出た。

*

眠れないイライラの中で、滞在延長の申請が我慢ならないほどうっとうしくなり、航空券を予約した。ホテルは空室を確認中。５日出国、８日再入国。

Confused over Where I am

さっさと眠りに落ちる日が続いているが、起きるのに苦労する。けさもそうだったが、はっきり目覚める直前に、自分がどこにいるのかわからず、混乱したことが数回あった。大阪のアパートだろうか、それとも知らない場所だろうかと。一瞬して、「ここ」にいることを悟って安心する。そしてまた眠ってしまう。

ちょっとは外出して、「活動的」にならんといかんと思う一方、「どこへ行って何をするのか」と考えてしまう。カメラが到着すれば、「ゆかりの場所」を撮影しに行こう。そして、ネガがなくて再プリントできない写真を接写して保存しよう。

*

この先の計画は、滞在延長の如何次第ということもあるが、ＥＳＬコースの受講は決心した。これから先への投資だと理解しよう。やはり「fly out」しないといけないようだと、二重にカネがかかることになるが、これは避けられないこと。

Overhead Full Moon Night

真天上に満月の夜。

I Have Almost Made up My Mind to Take the Course

Late afternoon, I made a call to the course manager to talk about my visa issue. She told me that she would produce a letter to be presented at the immigration office. As this course does not require a student pass, which is fine in itself, my status as a tourist won’t change. I don’t know if there is any participant from overseas except me. If there is any, I believe that he or she is also entitled to stay only for 30 days. Even if I get an extension with the letter, it won't be enough. I need a further extension to complete the course because the final assignment is in April. I’ve already made rather too many land-crossings. The Woodlands checkpoint is suspicious.

*

With the certificate, what would I intend to do? Having been a city dweller since I was born, my desire to live in a more humanly natural or fundamental, if materially inconvenient, environment is still strong. If I feel overwhelmed in some negative way in such an environment, that should also be fine. I believe that is something I need to go through. In fact, that is what I should have experienced when I was so much younger. Once certified, I may seek a position in a developing country.

When I was around 30, I thought about working at an Israeli kibbutz, to make my hands dirty. But I never took any action to make it a reality. In hindsight, it seems a wise no-action. I don’t want to extend my hand to help colonizers to further their occupation work.

*

Also today, I deposited the total amount for the camera. It was successfully done, even though it took me more than half an hour because of a $5 note, which the two deposit machines, located at TB Plaza, repeatedly rejected.

Student Again? And Mother and Daughter

My feeling is inclining to take up a course to become a certified TESOL instructor. There are issues to be resolved, e.g. my visa which expires just when the course starts. And when I have to be active in searching a job, this costs me a substantial amount of $$. However, this certification would protect me in the future to an extent, if not guarantee, in terms of employment. There are always people who want to learn the language. I should talk to the course director to be sure of what she can do to extend my visa without my flying out of the country. This time’s trip plans, whether to Myanmar or Vietnam, are forced upon me, and I don’t think I have enough time to prepare “psychologically,” even though those countries are just “over there.” I’m an old chicken.

*

1974年に日本赤軍のメンバーがオランダのフランス大使館を占拠した「ハーグ事件」の控訴審で、東京高裁は元幹部重信房子被告に一審が下した判決、懲役20年を支持した。読売、産経の両紙（電子版）によると、上告する方針だという。レバノン生まれの被告の娘は、ジャーナリストとして活動している。実際にそこに住み、そして見聞きしたアラブ世界を日本語で伝えることのできる数少ない人ではないだろうか。さきごろヤンゴンで警察部隊に射殺された長井健司さんが所属していた通信社のサイトで彼女の姿を見ることができる。

Butoh -- Byakko-sha

思いがけなく、あの特異な「白虎社」に出会った。麿赤児や「たそがれ清兵衛」に出演していた田中泯とも関係する「白虎社」に所属していた舞踏家による助成金の申請書だった。経歴や申請の理由には、自分の日常からかけ離れたことが書かれているが、やはりカネなのか。助成金がなければ活動できない。他に見た２件の申請に関してもやはり全く同じ思いがする。同時に自分の小ささも実感させられる。

*

「e-bay」でNikon Coolpix S510（コンパクトデジカメ）を落札した。と言っても入札したのは自分だけだったが。購入の理由は、長くなった髪の自分を撮っておきたかったのがひとつ。あとは、シンガポールにしても、ビルマにしても、ベトナムにしても、自分の歴史を記録しておきたいから。髪は歳をとる程に「クルクル」が激しくなる。引力に反して、今はまつ毛も上向き。

In Bed for a Day and Half

今日は正午前に目覚めた。だが、いつから眠っていたのか？17日の午前１時だったか２時だったかに眠ったような気がする。思い出すと、いったん午後３時頃に起きて、コンピューターの電源を入れた後、そのままベッドに戻ってしまったようだ。食事もせず、トイレにも行かずに。そうだとすると、ほぼ丸１日半をベッドで過ごしていたことになる。眠っていても聴覚だけは反応していることがよくあって、近くのコンド工事現場の音や、外で話す人の声が聞こえたりしていた。悪夢にうなされていた訳でもなく、何でそんなに長く寝てしまったのだろう？

*

What is my métier?? There has been no real satisfaction or serene uplifting of mind in what I’ve done in my career so far. The teaching job I had back home was so money-oriented, and I didn’t not consider it as anything educational or even remotely serious. Many students expected to be spoon-fed and “learning English” was just a faddish phenomenon influenced by the irresponsible commercial media of Japan. The company went bankrupt eventually. A writing job was really inspiring and made me feel that I was doing something, but then when the lunch break was not a break and dinner had to be delayed until 10 pm or later, it was not a mystery at all that it took a toll on my physical and mental health.

*

Yangon? Ho Chi Minh? Hanoi? And then??

I Want More about Milosevic's Childhood, and My Trip Destinations

I’m reading “Milosevic” at a steady pace. Especially after “Orientalism,” which in many parts is recondite, it is a big relief that I don’t have to read the same one sentence several times to understand. When one writes about him, it may be natural to devote many pages to his rapid rise through the Communist hierarchy ladder and of course the 3-way war in the former Yugoslavia. However, my interest in his life is to learn more about how his childhood and relatively young days affected his later career as both his parents committed suicide. It seems that as a person, he found the absolute security in his wife, Mira. No matter whatever I do, Mira is always with me, defends me and never betrays me.

By the way, his daughter, Marija, was quite a glamorous beauty, judging from the one photo in the book! She, still while a teenager, married a diplomat and went to Japan along with him. She, a very much pampered kid, didn’t like the life in Japan and got bored, left there and divorced him. Her recent photos show a complete auntie, though. She was reported to have had a “nervous breakdown” after Milosevic was removed from power.

*

Because the immigration officer at Woodlands was not very clear what “fly out” really means (must it be to Japan? Or anywhere?), I’m now thinking about destinations excluding Japan. Myanmar is an obvious candidate but visiting there requires a visa. Another is Vietnam, which I’ve also been interested in visiting because of the books I’ve read about the war and the movies, “THE SCENT OF GREEN PAPAYA” and “Full Metal Jacket.” To enter Vietnam, it is not required to obtain a visa, as far as the stay is within 15 days. As the year end, when embassies will be closed, is approaching and I can’t still make up my mind, a trip that requires no visa seems attractive.

2 Familiar Names Gone

おととい、昨日となじみの名前の訃報が続く。14日、花井悠（元西鉄）。15日、島野育夫（元中日、南海、阪神）。

毎朝、朝日放送の「おはよう朝日です」で登校前に見ていた花井さん。江夏・江本のトレードで76年のシーズンから南海から阪神に移籍した島野さんが、大きく話題になったのは選手時代ではなく、82年にやはり阪神のコーチだった柴田猛と横浜での大洋戦で岡田功球審に暴行し、出場停止になったことだ。

個人的には、南海時代の75年５月５日のロッテ戦（大阪球場）を記憶している。１回裏、先頭打者として先発の村田兆治からヒットで出塁。盗塁に成功した後、得点する。南海はこの１安打と１点だけでこの試合に勝ったのだった。南海先発の松原明夫（故人）は、ロッテを完封。

*

The poor fellow at the shop called me, and said my membership is now ready. After my complaint, the shop made it ready in a day. If they can do it in such a short period, why couldn't they have done so much earlier??

Active Day

昨日（木曜日）の夕食に「冷凍かにクリームコロッケ」を食べた。おととい（水曜日）の買い物中、突然「食べたい……」とう衝動が走ったのだった。後悔した。いくら熱くしても冷凍臭が残って、この上なくまずかった。

*

A day of action (by my standard): I settled the phone bill, mailed a postcard to my mother, placed a complaint to a computer shop at TB Plaza and went to Tanjong Pagar to retrieve a letter from the tax office.

This computer shop told me at the time of my application on November 23 that it would sent an e-mail to me for confirmation. I’ve never received such an e-mail. A young man working at the shop’s customer service was apologetic. I heard him say “Many customers claim…” when he was talking to another office. Hmmm… It seems I’m not alone. Apparently, they are having some computer system trouble. System trouble at a computer shop? Quite a joke. I demanded my membership $$ back. He pleaded me to give him another week. So I relented, but not satisfied, made this young staff write a short letter (in his unsteady English) to guarantee the refund if I don’t get the e-mail within a week.

A letter from the tax office arrived at the current address of my former employer. After I resigned, the employer moved to Tanjong Pagar to become a company under a group in need of capital injection.

*

The poor fellow at the shop called me this evening, and said my membership is now ready

Tablets on Their Way

朝日新聞のウェブサイトから：「80歳前でも現役バリバリ！最新作だけでなく往年の名曲も楽しみ。バート・バカラックが日本に来日」

「日本に来日」って、未だにこんな日本語を使う人がいるとは。それも新聞社のサイトで……。

*

Jean, who works at the clinic, contacted me today and said she would send tablets by post. Thanks.

*

Yesterday at Gleneagles, right after I finished “Orientalism,” I started “Milosevic: A Biography” by Adam LeBor. 30 pages are behind me at this moment.

A Hiking Trip

Yes, I’m really tired. This morning, I called the clinic six or seven times. Though there was no answer, the busy tone I heard in two of my calls made me optimistic to think the clinic was open today. I decided to try my luck.

I took Bus 16 to Paterson Road and then, from Orchard Boulevard, 174 to go to Bukit Timah Road. Because I wasn’t sure at which stop I should get off, I did so after the 174 passed a supermarket in my very old neighborhood. From the bus stop, there was quite a distance to the clinic. When I finally reached there, it was only to find a “closed” sign. I wrote a message and slipped it inside from under the door, requesting to inform me when it would reopen.

I thought that my first neighborhood doctor and the one, who originally referred me to the clinic, Dr. Goh, might be available and somehow could help me. Then I decided to walk back the way I came from, but at the same time I was thinking that I would be too late for his morning consultation. There I was, standing in front of the door of his clinic, which was shut. But it was the disappointment I had expected. With my head down, I was leaving the place to cross Farrer Road when I found myself between the shuttered door and the doctor sitting on a bench, talking on his phone.

“Doctor…”

I explained all about the closed clinic and told him I had run out of pills. He asked, “Oh, maybe she went on a holiday. But why are you here? You think I…” He opened the shutter and quickly made a prescription note for Cymbalta so I could bring it to a pharmacy.

A relatively near and large medical institution where I might get it is Gleneagles. I tried two pharmacies in the hospital and neither had it. I asked for an equivalent or even something “similar.” But they said, “No. It must be this particular one.” Exhausted, I rested myself on a sofa at the hospital (and finished “Orientalism” there). Or they had. Dr. Goh spelled “Cymbalta” as “Simbalta.” And the spelling I thought might be correct was “Symbalta.” Should I try tomorrow again or just hope that the clinic opens very soon?

From Gleneagles, I walked to Isetan to get rice, which also ran out a few days ago, and some other food stuff and then the Orchard MRT station to add value to my EZLink Card because the value was below $0. I finally took Bus 123 at the Lucky Plaza to come home. What a hiking all through drizzle, from Bukit Timah Road to the Lucky Plaza!

*

My pace to read “Orientalism” greatly quickened once the book entered the final chapter, “Orientalism Now,” which discusses the more recent decades. For some like me, who pathetically lacks the required knowledge of, for example, Napoleon’s invasion of Egypt, it would be better for better comprehension to jump from “Preface” to “Afterward” and then start reading the first chapter.

[O]ne of the great advances in modern cultural theory is the realization, almost universally acknowledged, that cultures are hybrid and heterogeneous and, as I argued in Culture and Imperialism, that cultures and civilizations are so intertwined and interdependent as to beggar any unitary or simply delineated description of their individuality. (p. 347)


Much of the most compelling work on the new political and economic order has concerned what, in a recent article, Harry Magdoff has described as “globalization,” a system by which a small financial elite expanded its power over the whole globe, inflating commodity and service prices, redistributing wealth from lower income sectors (usually in the non-Western world) to the higher-income ones. (p. 349)

I have quoted a few parts from the work almost randomly. I’m hearing now the voice of Said that says “explain why you quoted this part but not that part.”

Psychiatrist Kills Himself...

According to the Sankei Shimbun website, a psychiatrist working at a Hyogo hospital killed himself for having been prescribing antidepressant pills to a unipolar patient without consultation for two years. The Hyogo prefecture had investigated the hospital for his non-consultation prescription. The doctor’s suicide must be shocking to the patient herself… But without consulting with her, how could the doctor have diagnosed the woman as a unipolar disorder sufferer?

*

I feel tired, very tired… No drive to take action and move "forward."

Said's Sharp Pen, and Info on Myanmar Wanted

When I woke up, it was still all dark outside. I thought the time was still in the midst of the night, but looking at the clock beside the bed, I realized it was almost dawn. Here, morning comes late. The sun is not really up there until 7am, and these days because of rain, it seems even darker at dawn. I went back to sleep after a few pages of “Orientalism,” and when I woke up again, it was already past 4pm. One missed call from a number I don’t recognize. And it was too late to visit the clinic…

*

The top page of the website of the Myanmar Embassy here is blank. So I decided to send an e-mail to inquire about the tourist visa information. And rare for me now, I did so quite fast. Soon after I sent the e-mail, I found that, without the top page, the inside of the site could be read and I managed to obtain the information.

*

Reading works by Edward W. Said makes me realize, with no exception at all, that how I am sloppy in using words, in writing and talking. His knowledge is deep, his observation insightful, and his pen unbelievably sharp.

*

… In 1973, during the anxious days of the October Arab-Israeli war, the New York Times Magazine commissioned two articles, one representing the Israeli and on the Arab side of the conflict. The Israeli side was presented by an Israeli layer; the Arab side, by an American former ambassador to an Arab country who had no formal training in Oriental studies. Lest we jump immediately to the simple conclusion that the Arabs were believed incapable of representing themselves, we would do well to remember that both Arabs and Jews in this instance were Semites (in the broad cultural designation I have been discussing) and that both were being made to be represented for a Western audience… (p. 293)

… When Louis Gardet treats [in The Cambridge History of Islam, first published in 1970] “Religion and Culture,” we are told summarily that only the first five centuries of Islam are to be discussed; does this mean that religion and culture in “modern times” cannot be “synthesized,” or does it mean that Islam achieved its final form in the twelfth century? Is there really such a thing as “Islamic geography,” which seems to include the “planned anarchy” of Muslim cities, or is it mainly an invented subject to demonstrate a rigid theory of geographical-racial determinism? As a hint we are reminded of “the Ramadan fast with its active nights,” from which we are expected to conclude that Islam is a religion “designed for town dwellers.” This is explanation in need of explanation. (p. 305)

In its February 1974 issue Commentary gave its readers an article by Professor Gil Carl Alroy entitled “Do the Arabs Want Peace?” Alroy is a professor of political science and is the author of two works, Attitudes Towards Jewish Statehood in the Arab World and Images of Middle East Conflict; he is a man who professes to “know” the Arabs, and is obviously an expert of image making. His argument is quite predictable: that the Arabs want to destroy Israel, that the Arabs really say what they mean (and Alroy makes ostentatious use of his ability to cite evidence from Egyptian newspapers, evidence he everywhere identifies with “Arabs” as if the two, Arabs and Egyptian newspapers, were one), and so on and on, with unflagging, one-eyed zeal… (pp. 307-308)

*

最新のミャンマー旅行情報は思ったほど多くない。ヤンゴンへは格安航空が飛んでいるが、ヤンゴン～マンダレーの鉄道往復はかなり大変そう。ヤンゴンにはシンガポール系の高級ホテルもある。空路にホテルの「大名旅行」は避けたいが、どうするべきか。マンダレーに行く代わりにラオスのビエンチャンに行くことも考える。「地球の歩き方」でも買って読むか……。

Orientalism Dogmas

Said explains the dogmas of Orientalism laconically in the pages 300-301;

1. the absolute difference between the West, which is rational, developed, humane, superior, and the Orient, which is aberrant, undeveloped, inferior.
2. the abstractions about the Orient, particularly those based on texts representing a “classical” Oriental civilization, are always preferable to direct evidence drawn from modern Orient realities.
3. the Orient is eternal, uniform, and incapable of defining itself; therefore it is assumed that a highly generalized and systematic vocabulary for describing the Orient from a Western standpoint is inevitable and even scientifically “objective.”
4. the Orient is at bottom something either to be feared (the Yellow Peril, the Mongol hordes, the brown dominions) or to be controlled (by pacification, research and development, outright occupation whenever possible).

*

Apparently, the clinic is closed today. I made four calls, three in the morning and another in the afternoon, but nobody answered.

Sleep Only to Feel Tired

雨が続いて嫌。眠れないどころか、ずっと眠ってしまう。そして寝言に悪夢。起きた時の疲労感がひどい。

「うるさい！うるさい、おまえ！」

誰に言ったのか知らないが、声に出してそう言った。直後、何かの説明を始めたが、途中で一瞬覚醒して自分自身の寝言に気づき最後まで言わず。枕元にあった本１冊を床に投げつけ、その本が落ちた音を聞いた記憶。投げつけたかどうかはどもかく、起きるとその本は確かに床にあった。

客のほとんどいないスーパーマーケットで、支払いを済ませようとしたが、レジに誰もいない。間もなくやって来た女性は店の制服ではなく、私服だったので勤務時間を終えていたのだろう。その人とほぼ同時に店の外に出て、「どちらにお住まいですか？」とたずねる。彼女は具体的な場所を言ったかもしれないが覚えていない。自分はらせん階段を意味して、右手の人差し指をグルグル回しながら、その手を少し上げてみた。「そうそう、そこです」と彼女。「そこならよく知っています。以前務めていた会社が近くでしたから」。どうやら、「Bugis」を連想していたようだ。

*

裁判の被告になっていた……が、そうとは認識していなかった。フローチャートのように、書類数枚を「はい」「いいえ」で答えていった。各ページにある小さすぎる署名欄に署名する。監視しているのは原告女性の父親で、検事でもあり、判事でもある人。女性は高校生だった時のＧＦで、彼女は在日韓国人。実家では母親が、「この子は2000英ポンドを（原告女性のために）使った」と言っている。自分本人は何の事かわからないまま判決を聞くと、まさにその2000ポンドが決定的な理由となって有罪が下された。「検事と判事が同一人物で原告の父親で、弁護人もいない裁判なんて無効だ」と反論してみるが誰も聞いてくれない。

*

監獄は大学の大教室か演奏会場のような場所で、正面には舞台もある。そこはやはり大学の教室で、囚人のわりには自由な気分そうな男女が決められた席に座っていた。自分の番号は「306」だった。どの人も、理由なくこの監獄で生活している。みんな、納得している様子だった。「気の毒なことに、あなたも選ばれてしまったんだね」といった表情で、親切に食事や机の使い方について決められている細かい規則を説明してくれた。朝食は８時で、「授業」は９時から。朝食が必要な場合は、事前に申し出る必要があった。授業科目は英語や音楽など。囚人服などなく、「着替えがない」と言うと、ある人が「一度、うちへ帰ればいい。タクシーを使うのはもったいないから、スクールバスに乗ればいい」。スクールバス？ここは自分の出身大学だった。「え、帰宅してもいいの？」と不思議がりながら、着替えを取りにバスでいったん家に帰った。母親に当り散らしながら、衣類の整理ケース１個を抱えて「監獄」に戻った。「衣類の管理はＸＸ（欧米系女性の名前）に頼めばいいよ」とすぐ前の席に座っている女性が言う。

英語の授業。それまでの授業について、一切知らないので戸惑う。衣類管理のことを教えてくれた女性にこっそり説明してもらう。

この人とは、互いを知らないまま「相思相愛」の模様。彼女は、数人と共同で生活しているという家の所在を教えてくれた。（自分のような「新入り」には帰宅が許可されるとはいえ、生活は「監獄」の中だけのはずなのに……。）そこは実家から歩けば２～３分の場所で、この場所を訪れる気になった自分はどうやって「監獄」から出てきたのかわからないが、建物は３階建てほどの高さだった。１階の窓から覗いてみると、数人分の布団が見えたりして生活の気配がある。「家の前にツツジが植わっているのがうち。すぐ近くですね」と彼女に伝える。

*

検事兼判事の男が横のドアから「監獄」に入ってきた。額の左側には中小極小の「日の丸」がペイントされている。罵声で抗議するが無視される。

*

大教室ではなく、よくある大きさの教室では音楽の授業。その途中、原告女性が現れた。また抗議するが、彼女は「罪ははっきりしている。（アフリカの）コンゴであんたが子供の頃に描いたパレスチナの火山を背景にした魔女の絵が見つかっている！」コンゴ？パレスチナの火山？自分にはどれも意味不明だった。そして授業を担当している欧米人女性（もしかすると衣類管理の人と同一かも）が、怒りの表情でその絵を自分に手渡す。色褪せたその絵に描かれているのは、確かに「魔法使い」だったが、それは横山光輝の「サリーちゃん」じゃないか……。

Another Anniversary of December 8

すっかり忘れていた。日米開戦、シンガポール侵攻の12月８日が過ぎてしまった。

*

以前書いたかもしれんけど、張恵妹の「戀曲1990」はサントリーがミネラルウォーターかウーロン茶のＣＭに使ってた歌やないんかな。何か聞き覚えがあるんやけど。

*

The BIG time bomb is ticking inside me.

THE DOG OF THE YEAR!

The old “stray” dog has been identified!! YOU ARE THE DOG OF THE YEAR!!!

読売新聞電子版（「女性救った“湯たんぽ”老犬、無事飼い主の家に」）によると、茨城県ひたちなか市で、氷点下まで冷え込んだ６日の夜、認知症の女性を温めて救ったイヌの飼い主が判明したという。

Old dog saves life of missing senile woman
The Yomiuri Shimbun

MITO--An old dog saved the life of a 73-year-old woman with senile dementia who is believed to have wandered from her home to a park about five kilometers away in temperatures that fell below freezing, police said.

The woman, who went missing from her home in Tokaimura, Ibaraki Prefecture, on Wednesday morning, was found safe by a passerby about 30 hours later, snuggled up with the male mongrel in a park in Hitachinaka in the prefecture.

It is believed she spent the night outside in subzero temperatures.

"She may have avoided hypothermia by hugging the dog to keep warm," a Hitachinaka-Nishi Police Station officer said.

According to the police, the woman slipped out of her house and away from　the supervision of her family just after 7 a.m. Wednesday, wearing only a thin jacket over her sweater. (Dec. 8, 2007)

THANK YOU, THE DOGGY, FOR THIS MOVING STORY!

Absolute Determination So Easily Broken

My absolute determination was to stay awake so that I could go to the clinic. Just at the right moment, I foolishly closed my eyes, and then when I opened them, it was already too late for today’s consultation hours. Ashamed, and electric sensation is again appearing, a very clear sign of my life-supporting SNRI is losing its power. Resigned, I went into another long dream.

*

南海ホークスの秘蔵品を見せびらかし、交換する人たちの集まり。無料で勝手に持って帰れる「球団グッズ」や個人撮影の写真もいくつかある。なぜか、そこに混じっていたのは、うつ病治療の新薬を処方された患者の記録。自分は「ブレイザー」のサインが入った小さな陶器製ケースと誰が撮ったのかわからない写真多数を持ち帰ることにした。最初の数枚を見てみると、夜間試合中の大阪球場や、ホイッスルを持って球場前に立つ警備員の顔が大写しになったもの、また南海ホークスとは全く無関係の旅行写真などだった。

難波へと戻る南海電車の車内。いっしょに乗っていたのは、集まりで知り合った男性ひとりと、近鉄や南海で主力選手がひとり。この選手は新しいアパートを探していて、３人で不動産屋に寄るために途中下車したが、不動産屋の場面は記憶にない。

（幼児の頃、祖父母宅を訪れる以外に南海電車を利用した機会はなく、「鉄道会社」としての南海電鉄に何の恨みもないが、）驚いたのは、南海電車の高架線路が地上から50メートルほどの高い位置にあって、ホームと電車の隙間も広い。駅によっては、ドアが開かず、窓から乗下車する人もいたこと。高所に恐怖を感じる自分には危険すぎて、知り合った友人の助けが必要だった。ある駅では、乗るか降りるかしようとした乗客の１人が隙間から落下。ドアレールを片手で掴んで、「助けて」と叫んだ。近くにいた女性客が手を差し出し、その手に触れたものの、彼はさらに下へと転落していった。

一度、あの見紛うはずのない球団名ロゴが印刷されたビニール袋に入れた「ブレイザー・ケース」と写真を、袋ごと隙間から線路と下を流れる川の間にある鉄骨に落としてしまった。電車を止めてもらい、２人の駅員に拾ってもらった。

去ったはずの秘蔵品の集まりの場面が再び現れた。自分はベッドに仰向けの状態のまま起き上がれない。体が固まったのか、重くなったのか、背中にベッドが、ベッドが背中に張り付いている。ひざを折ったり、体の向きを変えることもできず、腹筋の力が完全に消滅してしまったように、仰向けのままでは「力を入れても起きられない」と伝えて、あの知り合いの男性に起してもらった。

また車内。電車が通過している場所を気にせず乗っていたら、難波を乗り越してしまった。（南海電車で難波の先はどこ？）車内に掲示してある路線図を見ながら「駅数が多すぎるね」と自分が言うと、知り合いも選手も女性客も同意した。どこかの駅で下車。「じゃ、また」と言いつつ連絡先も交換せずに。「ブレイザー・ケース」の用途がひらめいた。「100円ライター」の収納用ケースだ。

改札口のすぐ外にいた。またベッドに仰向けの状態で。どうやら実家からの最寄り駅のようだったが、起き上がれない。誰に起してもらったんだろうか、自分は思い荷物を積んで、自転車に乗っていた。荷物にはイワトリの不可食部分などというものもあったが、いずれも翻訳業務の納品に必要なものばかりだった。その自転車で駅前の通りにある喫茶店を通り過ぎる時、「タヌキ」のヘラヘラした見苦しい顔を見た。

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND US!

“Just mentally challenged”… Comments or thoughts like this so deeply hurt every human who suffers a mental illness. To my ear, it sounds “You are physically healthy. You are only a lazy person.” “I just can’t imagine what sort of condition you have” is what I was told by a friend. Well, you don’t have to try to imagine. Nor do you have to try to understand. But you have to recognize that people like me exist all over the world and are crying for help.

Cymbalta Effects Wearing off

No refill today (Friday) either.

I spent around 20 hours in bed. Last night, I was quite agitated emotionally after what happened at the checkpoint and far more because I thought and talked about my family. Even tears were flowing out of my eyes. I know the Cymbalta effects are wearing off. I must to get pills today (Saturday), no matter what.

*

I had, as usual in such conditions, a long dream, or a dream of a few seemingly continuous but totally unconnected stories.

*

同級生だったＮとＴが羽織袴姿で高校の部活動に行こうとしている。自分はもう卒業して何年も経ってるし、行く気はないと答えた。そのすぐ後、ちょっとよれよれしてはいるが、同様の格好をしているＢの姿も見えた。

場面は全く変わって、平屋の建物の中のようだったが、はっきりしない。集団に取り囲まれて逃げられない。何人で建物の中にいたのかもはっきりしない。建物の前を流れる川には大蛇。人ひとりを飲み込んだように一部が膨れ上がっている。欧米人がその大蛇を銃で仕留めた。建物から逃げようとする５人ほどの欧米人集団がエレベーターホールにいる。（平屋のはずだったのに。）横移動するエレベーターもあった。どのエレベーターもなかなか降りて来ず、みんなイライラしている。最初に来たのに急いで乗り込んだ男性は、そのまま落ちていった。そのエレベーターは枠組みだけで、床も壁も天井もなかった。

京都の実家周辺。大雨。やはり同級生だった女子生徒ひとりを含む４人で歩いていると、酒屋から「見てごらん、あのりんご」と声が掛かる。店の中が暗くてよく見えないが、かじった跡のあるりんごがひとつ、棚の上に置かれていた。そのりんごをじっくり観察するほど何がそんなに特別なのかわからないまま、実家に向かう。母親が雨の中、何とかパンやケーキを買ってきてくれていた。４人で分け合う。３人のうちひとりは、間違いなくＹさんだった。

３人の女子同級生のうちひとりが、（仕事か授業のために）ラジオを聞く必要があると言う。ラジオのアンテナを調整してみるが、雨のせいか、受信がよくない。ラジオ局の周波数を直接入力できるもう一台のラジオを用意した。小さいが明瞭な音が聞こえた。

いつの間にか、３人は去っていた。自分はベッド脇に置いた携帯電話を使おうとするが、いつもと勝手が違う。よく見ると、自分の電話ではなく、さっきまでいた３人のうちひとりが置き忘れた電話だった。無事自分が預かっていることを知らせようと、彼女にその電話を使ってかけてみた。「もしもし……？ＸＸさん（名前不明）ですか？」と言っても無言。彼女に20歳になる娘がいることを、いつ知ったのかわからないが、「おかあさん？娘さん？」とたずねると、彼女本人だった。

この電話の会話でわかったことかどうか全く不明だが、彼女は理不尽な夫との離婚を考えているらしい。場面は学校の教室のような場所で彼女と会う。夫として登場したのは、大阪を散々いっしょに飲み歩いたＫＫではないか！何度もＫＫを殴った。

再びＮとＴ。屋外にある石のベンチに座って何やら相談している様子だ。「“シャーペン”を作る課題があるけど、参加しないか」と言う。自分は、「物理の授業」には出席していないという理由で断った。３人で、実家近くの大通りを（自転車か徒歩で）南に向かって、つまりうちに向かって進む。「第三軍道」との交差点で信号待ちをしている車に乗っていたのはＮ社の編集長。驚いたことに、ＮとＴとも知り合いらしい。編集長は車から降りて、４人で歩く。本来なら大通りから、実家のある狭い道へと曲がる角は駐車場になっているはずだが、そこは墓地だった。「この前の大雨で、倒れたままの墓石が残っています」と説明する。この狭い道が舗装されていないことを指摘する編集長に対して、自分は「いや、このすぐ先から舗装されていますよ」。ところが、その先も舗装はされていなかった。ＮとＴと編集長。３人は同じ宗教団体に属した人たちだった。顔見知りだったのも不思議ではない。そして、「見てごらん、あのりんご」と言った酒屋の人も。

実家の冷蔵庫を開ける。「カールスバーグ色」の缶ビールがいくつかある。ただ、その缶の形はさまざま。「ツナ缶」のように丸いが背の低いもの。そうかと思えば、やはり円形だが「クッキー詰め合わせ」のように大きな缶。数缶を持って自分の部屋のある２階へ上がった。３人の同級生が来た時には乱雑だった部屋が整頓されている。母親が掃除したに違いない。ステレオのスピーカーが、土壁を天井からすぐ下の部分に開けられた穴にすっきりはめ込まれている。兄がそれを見つけて、もっと２つのスピーカーの距離を離さないとダメだと言う。別の穴を開けるのはいいとして、すでに開けてしまった穴はどうするのかと聞くと、彼は「発砲スチロール」で埋めればいいと答えた。

場面はもっともっと多かったが忘れた……。

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How about this cartoon, published by "Today" on December 4?












"Just mentally challenged"?

Andrew Solomon, citing "Suicide and affective disorders" by S. B. Guze and E. Robbins, published in "British Journal of Psychiatry 117" in 1970 and "Manic-Depressive Illness" of 1990 by Frederick Goodwin and Kay Redfield Jamison, wrote in "The Noonday Demon: An Anatomy of Depression," "The statistic traditionally given is that 15 percent of depressed people will eventually commit suicide; this figure still holds for those with extreme illness. Recent studies that include milder depression show that 2 to 4 percent of depressives will die by their own hand as a direct consequence of the illness." (p. 25)

30-Day Grace Period

No medication refill today.

I expected no problem at all at the checkpoint on this side. When my turn came after standing in a long line of visitors, I was “invited” by the young officer into his box and asked to sit on the chair next to him and wait. After about five minutes, an Indian officer came and escorted me into that room I know well of.

A Malay female officer explained that I could not continue entry by land “forever. And next time, you must fly out to Japan once.” “But officer, I don’t have a family to go back to in Japan.” “Even distant relatives?” “Distant relatives are all distant. Does it have to be Japan (I must fly to)?” She didn’t give me a clear answer. This time, she gave me a 30-day stamp anyway. I may have chosen the wrong line… My home country is not home. But they don’t understand it and consider individual cases. A grace period of 30 days. What shall I do?

The only thing that was nice today was that I managed to advance “Orientalism” to as far as page 288.

Rainy Season Has Come?

久しぶりに嫌な眠り。寝返りを繰り返して、眠れないことへの腹立たしさが増すだけだった。眠り始めたのは朝の８時頃で、午後３時、薄暗い部屋で目が覚めた。いつから降っていたのか、雨季の始まりのようなしとしと雨。

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明日、出国の必要あり。それから、できれば明日の午前中、遅くてもあさってには薬をもらいに行かないと。Cymbaltaは全てなくなってしまった。

Japan Baseball Team Goes to Beijing

アジア野球選手権で日本３連勝、北京五輪出場決める。

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“Orientalism”を読み進めると、今まで読んだアジアやアフリカを舞台にした英国人作家の小説への見方が変わる。

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Some days ago, I decided to write on my life about from 1995 (Korea to Osaka, Taiwan, back to Osaka and Singapore) completely from my own perspective, and I am adding a few lines almost everyday. In a sense, this is to leave a record mainly of my career and unipolar disorder. Partly because my diary for a few years from the summer of 1999 became unrecoverable together with my old PC, I believe this is a good attempt. At this point still with about 9,000 characters, my days especially in Singapore seem full of frustration and stress and it is no wonder that my depression (the Black Cat) sneakily appeared in the dark room.

A Sign of Ageing

For a start, I’ve cursorily checked a few universities in Taiwan that have a language course for foreigners. In terms of tuition fees, they are so much cheaper than NUS, which charges more than twice.

I feel my age… Seven years ago, it was a hard but quick decision to come here. And I used to think “If you are really interested in something, you should have already taken action to make it happen.”

"The Sting of Death"

「死の棘」（1990年）を見た。話の展開を全く知らずに見始め、見終えた時には目を大きく開いて手を口に当て、しばらく固まった。発狂状態の妻が精神病院で受ける「電気ショック」。その前に注射される麻酔液。ストレッチャーで運ばれていく彼女。ストーリーはかなりショッキングやけど、こんな病院の場面は、自分にとって単なる映画の一場面ではすまない。こうなったら、島尾敏夫の原作を読み、「泥の河」（81年）など他の小栗作品も見たい。

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Motorola announced that its CEO, Ed Zander, would leave on January 1st. This is the man who said to my question at a press conference, “I don’t know what you are referring to.” I asked for his response to Nokia CEO’s comment that Nokia was not a mere phone maker and he did not consider Motorola as a competitor. I had found this comment in an article of the Economist.

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When I was reading “Crime and Punishment,” I thought about visiting St. Petersburg and Moscow. And suddenly Burma. And remembering my happy days in Taiwan, my interest in the Chinese language and its traditional characters is now growing… I like to understand what A-Mei sings about. My mind can be so simply influenced…

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I have been largely autodidactic, as in the case of my English learning. For Chinese, I can probably combine the pinyin system, which is a creation of the communist China, and traditional characters.

好想見你／不在乎他

買う必要もなかったんやけど、ＨＭＶまで行って「♫ ごめんね」のＣＤ（「我可以抱你嗎？愛人」）を買った。曲名は「会いたい（好想見你）」やった。中国語版はの曲名は「不在乎他」。歌詞の内容は違う。それから、やっぱり買う必要はなかったんやけど、「死の棘」（小栗康平監督）のＤＶＤも19ドルやったんで買ってしまった。

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I should have read “Orientalism” first among the works by Said. However, I, at this age, still have a great difficulty to follow this powerful book of his. It is perhaps because of my total lack of knowledge of English and French scholars on and travelers to the Orient. Learning continues… until I decide to quit all.

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Five killed in Israeli Gaza raids (BBC)
Gazans bury dead after Israeli raid (Al Jazeera)
Six Palestinians, including militants, killed in Gaza (Reuters)

Trying to achieve peace by killing people… while the leaders are talking in the U.S.

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With puke out comes the mental tumor.