Monday, October 01, 2007

I'm a Dog Lover. I Do Not Need Any Cat, Especially Black Ones

Before anybody told me, it is already October.

Whatever was happening to me, I’d managed to finish The E every week even if I had to sacrifice my sleep, except a confusing period right after I arrived at Albany. However, I have no energy to do so this past week. I left The E open only after I finished the few sections.

Last Saturday, I talked a lot and enjoyed the night. Sunday morning (I don’t know what time it was), I found myself lying on the sofa. Having moved to the bed, next time I woke up, it was 9 pm.

Some years ago, when I almost did it was after a nice party. My mood swings drastically, even violently, to and fro. It even makes this trusting man suspicious of certain people. It is like a big shear I saw in 1996 at the Kwangyang (Gwangyang) steel plant. If I should not have some happy moments, what shall I do then???

Cans of beer and two movies did nothing to make me relaxed. I want to believe there is still a way to get out of this. But it is certainly tough and uncomfortable to work in a monastery-like environment. I NEED HELP. Really… The Black Cat is looking at me.

As I’m proceeding with “Futatsu no Sokoku (「二つの祖国」)” and “Daichi no Ko (「大地の子」),” I’m delaying “The Final Days” again. It will take a few weeks to reach the final day.






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