Public Opinion Less Tolerant Than Any System of Law

"Essays" (George Orwell) を読み終えた。

In a society in which there is no law, and in theory no compulsion, the only arbiter of behavour is public opinion. But public opinion, because of the tremendous urge to conformity in gregarious animals, is less tolerant than any system of law. When human beings are governed by 'thou shalt not', the individual can practice a certain amount of eccentricity: when they are supposedly governed by 'love' or 'reason', he is under continuous pressure to make him behave and think in exactly the same way as everyone else. "Politics Vs Literature"

Until I was about thirty I always planned my life on the assumption not only that any major undertaking was bound to fail, but that I could only expect to live a few years longer.
But this sense of guilt and inevitable failure was balanced by something else: that is, the instinct to survive. Even a creature that is weak, ugly, cowardly, smelly and in no way justifiable still wants to stay alive and be happy after its own fashion. I could not invert the existing scale of values, or turn myself into a success, but I could accept my failure and make the best of it. I could resign myself to being what I was, and then endeavour to survive on those terms.

A child which appears reasonably happy may actually be suffering horrors which it cannot or will not reveal. "Such, Such Were the Joys"

9日。仕事紹介会社にEP 申請書類を持っていく。

10日。滞在期限が来て、またJBへ行く。

昨日、カウンセリング。当初は16日が予約日だったが、その日から仕事を始めることになったので、その前にDr に会っておいたほうがいいと思い、変更してもらっていた。話したかったこと、きいてもらいたかったことをゆっくりでも吐き出すと確かに気分がよくなる。

精神医療にたずさわっていることを知ると、医師と患者という関係ではなく、普通のつきあいも敬遠する人があるらしい。Dr によると、そのような人には、メンタルヘルスの問題を抱える家族がいる場合が多いという。