This Terrifying Feeling of Being Stuck

I have this terrifying feeling that I’m absolutely stuck here while others are swimming ahead almost effortlessly. What triggered the feeling is my talk with the doctor on the 19th, who made me realize how aged I am now. And this was exacerbated by reading Graham Greene’s history of depression and suicide attempts. I ask myself whether I have missed things that should be essential for anyone’s life while trying to convince myself that everyone has limitations and vantages of his environment, many of which are set at his birth. Effort and luck, or lack thereof, may or may not influence one’s course of life either way. But at this moment I’m not sure what sort of effort is necessary to turn my feeling toward the positive direction.