About Him Again

Last Monday afternoon, having cleared my work plate, I went to the bank to deposit three cheques. Then I came to the Orchard area as usually happens with me after a bank visit. At Kinokuniya, I bought yet another book by Maugham, On a Chinese Screen. Crossing Orchard Road, I settled down at the refurbished CBTL to finish The Gentleman at the Parlour, the introduction told me that he was homosexual. I moved on to CC to start On a Chinese Screen. The CC boss came to the direction of the table where I was sitting and mentioned his name to me. I couldn’t hold it back anymore and said to him, “It’s got too much. It is not friendship that he has been showing to me. I don’t want to see him again.” Though he joked, “you should be open to new things” his smile was one of uncomfortable nature. Within an hour, I thought I saw him go in. As soon as I did, my heart started pounding violently. Quickly I put On a Chinese Screen and my Kindle Fire into the bag and asked for the bill. While waiting for the bill to arrive, I got caught by a man whom I hadn’t met before. He started the conversation that someone has with a total stranger. He believed that I had just arrived though the truth is I came earlier than he and was drinking at the table right behind where he was. I was rather anxious to leave CC and turning my sight to the door to see if he was coming out or looking for me. I convinced myself that it was not possible for anyone sitting inside to see the position where I was. And I had another beer with this stranger.

My mind was not at peace at all and I decided to move to another place for more drink. I knew that I simply wanted to pour it out. It was around half past seven when I reached this another place, where I usually bring those who come from my client company in Japan. Because it was still early there was not a customer. I burst out what I had just experienced. I think this is a story that almost anyone can enjoy, me being chased by a man. I had divulged my trouble to some of the people there. And two of them, whom I have known for more than ten years, know him. After telling them the story of the night in a somewhat agitated manner, I felt easier.

It was already around or maybe past one o’clock. I was not satisfied yet. I went back to CC, knowing that at this late hour he was not there. I took a seat inside. The manager told me that he had been there the previous night. So I was wrong when I thought I saw him. The boss and the manager talk about him almost always when I visit CC. More than two years ago and also a few months ago when he came back here, the manager accused me saying, “Do you know how many times he has come to look for you?” Because she again mentioned him, I welcomed the occasion and told her how I had been feeling towards him or more exactly how he had been feeling and behaving towards me. I believe I will not have any accusative word from her anymore.