Surgery Night

I got a wisdom tooth pulled out tonight. I took another ibuprofen
tablet some time ago though the instruction given was to take two of it every
eight hours with antibiotics. I had to take another because I was starting real
pain with the effect of anesthesia disappearing.

Contrary to what I was told last week, the specialist applied only
local anesthesia and the surgery itself was over in half an hour or so.

My eyes were covered to “protect” them as well as, I guess, prevent me
from seeing what would be going on.

When the specialist said, “Your tooth is already out,” I thought he could
now see the top part of it. After going through some forceful pulling, I heard the
sound of scissors cutting a string. Stitching. Then, I realized he had already extracted
the whole tooth when he said, “Your tooth is already out.”

Bleeding seems to have stopped in three hours. And that’s also when my
mouth started coming back to life, forcing me to endure the pain. I have to
live with this pain in this untouchable part at least for a few days. Stitch
removal in a week.

Wisdom Tooth Trouble: It's Gonna Be Very Bloody

About 10 days ago, I started feeling that the inside of my
left cheek was a little swollen. Though it was not very painful but certainly
uncomfortable, I decided to try Panadol Extra. A week went by with no sign of
improvement. Then last Monday, finding a small amount of pus and blood coming
out, I checked the Internet to locate dental clinics in the neighborhood.

In the evening, I went out only to find the nearest one
closed. The online information didn’t list consultation hours. Unwilling to
give up, I walked down Upper Thomson to Thomson Plaza, where I knew there were
two more dental clinics. After walking around for some time, I found one, which
was also closed. It took me some more time to find the third one. And it was
still open. I went in and explained my condition to the youngish woman at the
reception counter. She then opened the sliding door of one of the two treatment
rooms, right behind the counter, apparently to ask the dentist inside if he was
happy to take another patient for the night. He wasn’t. I made a 6:45 pm
appointment for Tuesday night.

Tuesday night, I arrived on time. After filling out the
registration form, I met a young dentist.
Looking at the swollen part, he said, “Big gingivitis (or something like
that).” And he started talking about my bottom-left wisdom teeth, which he
suspected was causing this trouble. I was asked to go out of the room for an
X-ray. The image seems to have sent to the screen immediately in the treatment
room. The wisdom tooth was coming up though it was still buried. The friction
between it and the next one is the cause and it needs to be extracted, he said.

“But we can’t do the surgery tonight. I’ll give you
antibiotics and pain killers for the condition. And the tooth can’t be simply
pulled out. We need to open up the gum and cut the bone several times. See the
dark line here? This is the nerve. I think you should make an appointment with a
specialist for the surgery.”

“What’s the reason for that?”

“That’s because your wisdom tooth is close to the nerve. And
we may need to put you to sleep.”

“So the surgery will take place at his place not here.”

“It will take place here.”

“How long do you think it takes to heal after the surgery?”

“Two to three days for a healthy adult.”

“What is the cost like?”

“For a specialist, 900 to 1,000.”

For me, the clinic made a tentative appointment with a
specialist at 6:30 pm, November 7.

Open up the gum and cut the bone? Sounds very bloody… No
alcohol since Tuesday because of the medication (a great feat!). Already
feeling a bit nervous.

Still Fuming Today and Warning to HIM

Yesterday (8^th), I started my 15^th
year here. I met a friend who spends half of his time here and the other half
in Japan because I had something to ask him to bring back to Japan. After
dinner with him, I alone went on to CC.

There, I saw HIM again. When I met HIM there two weeks ago,
HE was saying that he would go back to HIS country at the end of August. I
thought HE finally had made up HIS mind to start it over and reconstruct HIS
life there.

According to the CC manager, HE is still coming every night
and sleeps in the outside seating area. Some customers had complained about this
sleeping man and HIS odor. The manager also showed me three bags, one of which
is a Takashimaya paper bag, HE had ask CC to keep them in its storage area. She says
one of them is smelly and she doesn’t want to touch them.

Worse, nowadays HE doesn’t order any drink. (HE would order
a glass of tomato juice.) HE brings HIS own bottle of water. Isn’t it a little
too much of HIM to come to a bar every night, order nothing, and make other
customers unhappy. HE even asks the staff to change the TV channel to HIS
favorite one. Man, you’re not a customer anymore. And behaving this way? Isn’t it
a little too much, really?

Last night, HE was sitting with two other guys, whom I’ve
known for some years but I’m not very close to. HE tried to talk to me about a
Japanese tennis player, but I wasn’t interested. Later, I poured out my feeling
about HIM to one of the guys who is from HIS country. I said to him, “My best
friend’s become impossible.” And what the manager had told me. “Your best friend”
is how he describes HIM. It was a big mistake. He glanced at me with an
accusing face and said something like, “He’s been going through tough times and
it can happen to anybody. She is ‘only’ a bar manager and do you believe what she
told you? Now are you complaining about him, blaming him? You hate him? If you
hate him, just ignore him. HE may have an interview with a nice company tomorrow and
become a billionaire.”

I do think this is absolutely unfair to me, and to her (“only”
a bar manager). Probably I, more than anybody else, have given HIM suggestions,
advices, criticism, and encouragement, of course with a great amount of frustration.
I believe I’ve shared enough of his tough times. HE bores and irritates me. Today,
I spent my time fuming about what happened last night. Warning to HIM: CC is
not your living room. Not your bedroom. Nor is it your warehouse.

And
the CC boss believes that HE has no place to stay at and is wandering around Orchard
area. If it’s really so, we call such a person homeless.

I Need to Turn This Around

I need to turn this around. Although my meeting with mother
had affected my feeling, I was still doing okay until this month started. I had
energy to maintain my exercise schedule and was even feeling physical strength.
For the past few weeks though, I’ve been feeling rather down. I’ve been drinking
more than before and I stay in bed around 10 hours everyday. I usually wake up
after a few hours and feeling thirsty go to the fridge to grab a tea bottle and
go back to bed. As is always the case like this, I can’t put my finger on what
is causing this sleeping trouble and general fatigue. Now I need a lot of
energy to force me to exercise, to feel the energy post-exercise.

True, I’ve been quite busy with work perhaps since late February
or early March. Thanks to this, I should be feeling assured and secure because
this financial year will be profitable. But I’m going very slow with the
current work, partly because this is kind of tough to deal with. And partly
because I’ve burnt myself out?

I really don’t feel going out of this neighborhood. And a
little comfort this place manages to provide me seems good enough to me… Then,
it means I’m condemned to be totally alone.

The place to go is CC. However, it’s very difficult not to
see Him there these days. A few Sundays ago, I went there only to find Him. He
told me He was coming down to Orchard to watch World Cup matches at a hotel bar
after midnight where “I don’t have to order anything,” perhaps after spending
hours at CC with a glass of juice. Nothing to be proud of.

And last Friday He was at CC again. The floor manager, and
He Himself, told me that He comes every night. Someone who has been completely
jobless for nearly two years and almost completely jobless for five years
coming to CC every night for a glass of juice and a free water and staying
there for hours... Sounds miserable. And what can we talk about when we meet?

There is nothing but His job search to talk about. He
certainly bores, irritates so terribly me with excuses not to take action and I
even need to raise my voice. I guess there’re not many employers who are
willing to hire someone who has been without a job for two years. What I tell
Him is the longer it is the tougher to find a job. Seems He’s still hoping
something better will come. Very fat chance. His friends have been trying to
help Him, but he must not expect somebody’s working full time for Him. And no
result for two years. Effectively He’s destroyed his career. Pride so high, He’s
unwilling to take up a job in the F&B industry where he may have a chance as
a waiter or kitchen help. He doesn’t understand He is in a better position
because He’s a permanent resident here. He can do whatever jobs offered. I’m
not allowed to do so.

He doesn’t want to go home. Well, his is a vast country. Why
does working in His country mean going back to His hometown?   

HE DOESN’T GET IT. AND HE HAS ONLY HIMSELF TO BLAME.

And feeling alone here, feeling alone out, do I only have
myself to blame? Currently, reading “Impossible Dream: The Marcoses, The Aquinos,
and The Unfinished Revolution” by Sandra Burton.

Trouble with sleeping

Trouble with sleeping. Some nights, I can sleep only for a
few hours and, other nights, need more than a dozen hours. This may be caused
by small burnout after almost non-stop work since late February or early March
and I’m having a few days of no work. Turning and tossing in that state I hate,
I think about my father, mother and brother, my family.

Because
I had no new book to read, I dug out old TIME and NEWSWEEK of almost 30 years
ago on that series of events in the Philippines from Aquino’s declaration of candidacy
to Marcos’s fleeing to Hawaii, which would become known as People Power, or
EDSA, Revolution. It was my first lesson on international politics.