Given what I went through last year, I knew this was coming. From the moment I received the notice that told me of the successful appeal last August to this day, I've been living in fear with no good idea about any way to keep both my company and myself alive. And work kept coming in. After two years of rather "quiet' business, the sales volume is going to increase by 90% or even more for this FY, compared with the last. Keeping myself busy has been a distraction from the fear.
Yes, the company can survive as it now has my good Singaporean friend as a director. But where should I go? I can imagine returning to and living in my own country can be tough, even daunting. I would age quickly and get smaller and smaller there. The environment of "all Japan" would kill me.
I've been having this feeling of delight, strange it may be to others, being in the minority or being a foreigner.
Looking at Japan from outside, it seems to me very closed and exclusive at personal level. It seems like so, definitely because of my experience of having worked with people from many different countries with myself being a foreigner. I can say with confidence I love my home country. But it would be another story if I have to live there. The Japan I find on short business trips is so lovely.
Right now, my thought channel is very much clogged preventing me even trying to think clearly. The only thing I know is I must kick myself, not standing still, come up with a workable idea and act quick With this clogged mind, I don't know how I can.
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