Something Funny Here?

社民党もよくわからない。朝日の電子版は、同党の全国会議で「『民主党や国民新党と共通の政権公約を示すことが衆院選勝利に向けて大事だ』と連立に前向きな意見も出たが、９４年に前身の 社会党が自民党との連立政権で、自衛隊を合憲と認めるなど基本政策の転換に追い込まれた経験から『せいぜい閣外協力。下手をすると、今度は党がなくなる』 との指摘も出た。
『民主党右派とは決定的に平和への考え方が違う』『決して連立するとは言わないで』と否定的な声が続出した」と報じる一方、別の記事では、「社民党の土井たか子名誉党首（８０）が２８日の全国代表者会議で、次の総選挙に向けた党の応援のため、村山富市元首相（８４）と全国を回る決意を示した」とも。しかし、「最小限度の実力組織」として、施政方針演説で自衛隊合憲を明言したのはこの村山さんだったはず。

Death-rays & Invisible Aeroplanes

When hatred of Hitler became a major emotion in America, it was interesting to see how promptly ‘anti-Fascism’ was adapted to pornographic purposes by the editors of the Yank Mags. One magazine which I have in front of me is given up to a long, complete story, ‘When Hell Came to America’, in which the agents of a ‘blood-maddened European dictator’ are trying to conquer the U.S.A. with death-rays and invisible aeroplanes… (“Boys’ Weeklies,” George Orwell)

Neutron bombs? Stealth bombers? There is only country in the world that thought about the former and has actually used the latter. That is the United States of America.

*

30年ほど前なら、公明党は中道左派政党と自身を呼んで、社会党（当時）と仲がよかった。変われば変わるもんだ。

*

No new at all on the StarHub issue. 腰痛。

Oh No: Day 2, Nature of Power Politics

No response from the management company on this stupid online issue. Are you avoiding me? Even thinking about possibility to terminate the contract with them as the party at fault. I’ll keep all messages exchanged since yesterday. My company’s accountant said today, “Because you’re a foreigner… (they may have assumed that I should be easy to handle).” I’m feeling deceived, and I hope I won’t have to engage a lawyer to settle this.

*

L told me the story of her father who spent a week in coma and is now slowly recovering. Somehow, what she was telling me was crossing over with the memories of so many years ago. Tears were welling up.

*

「『学会問題』で解散圧力強める　民主」（産経新聞電子版）。公明党とその「支持母体」創価学会の問題は新しいものではなく、何度となく取り上げられてきた。追求されてしかるべきではあるが、追求する側の偽善さに対する思いも大きい。民主党の中には、自民党と公明党とともに与党の一部だった政党に属していた人もいるし、かつては細川連立政権もあれば新進党もあった。やはり政治家は、権力奪取のためであれば、正論や持論に目をつぶるようだ。味方にすればその組織力はおいしく、敵に回せばこんなにうっとうしい存在はない。そして、すっかり定着してしまった「支持母体」という日本語。「支持組織」ではいかんのか。また、現実に即すれば、「支持母体」ではなく「指示母体」の方が適切だろうと思われる。

Everything with a Hitch

Non-sleep night. I must be very tired, but then my brain seems affected by an unexpected and ridiculous event, causing a delay in my plan of moving. Trying to settle down as quickly as I could, I visited VivoCity’s StarHub CS Center. The purpose was to shift the online connection to my new place. At the counter, I was told that there was no signal at the address. Therefore, no connection could be established. Excuse me? Before signing the rent contract, I expressly asked the guy from the management company about the availability of connection. What he said was effectively that there is a cable connection point (yes, there is), but I must sign up with StarHub by myself (I already have my own contract). To solve the problem, I was also told that a document is necessary to show the gross floor area of the house to be submitted to URA. I immediately contacted the man and he referred me to the office phone number. Then, it was “let me check. I’ll get back to you.” This issue is of a life-or-death nature to me. I planned to carry my computer there today and began to live there. The plan is now totally botched. Then, I wonder if there is any tenant who has had this trouble before and if everybody is happy without online connection there. Nobody is using even e-mail? Unbelievable. Nothing can be done without a hitch.

*

Yesterday, armed with the new prescription, I went to my usual pharmacy. The pharmacist was on the phone, but when she saw me holding a piece of paper, she said, “You want to order that?” She remembers me. Probably I am one of the very few people who look like a northeastern Asian and need Cymbalta.

More Work

On Friday, Miss Q came and insisted, to my objection, on “seeing” my old new place. Her unreasonableness is far beyond my comprehension. She can’t do any heavy work but seems to have lots of opinion. Two rounds.

Yesterday, going down in the elevator to move some more stuff, I met an old man whom I’d never seen before. He said, “You, Army yah?” To my blank stare, he repeated, “You, Army yah?” Then, I understood what he meant. “No.” “I tot you in Army having many things.” “I’m moving outta here.” “Oh, selling out.” “No, I’m just a tenant.” Do I look that young to go into the army, even as a reservist?

Went for a haircut, my first time in half a year, but “he” was not there. It didn’t have to be “he,” but I was told to come again today.

Today, I thought about the best itinerary to visit a few places. My plan was to move even more things to Neil Road, go to MOM for my address change, a haircut and clinic as Cymbalta had run out.

I left Neil Road after laundry, and stepped outside, it had begun raining. At MOM, it was only that a strip, on which my new address was written by hand, was placed over my EP card. I hope they will update my info, though I feel uncomfortable to let the government know much about me. At the hair salon, “he” was busy with some customers and I reserved my turn at 6 pm. In the meantime, I went to Bukit Timah by a taxi to get a new prescription. It is always nice to see my doctor. Meeting her reassures me. Raining. Back to T. Bahru by another taxi, I finished a page or so and went for a haircut.

I still need to have the Internet connection point changed from T. Bahru to Neil Road. And the small apartment is now just livable. I probably have to postpone to get a bookshelf (or two bookshelves) and a chair. Have to think about my old CD rack, which is surprisingly heavy, and five boxes of the accounting documents. I will not have enough time for the first two weeks of March. I don’t think I can finish all in the next few days.

Please Do Not Follow Me

破産した昔の会社が名前を変えて事業を始めた夢だった。いかがわしいことをやっていた営業部門がどうなっているのかは不明だったが、上司は、今では関西にあるＲ大学の教授になっておられるその人で、「タヌキ」もいた。居場所がなくて困っているエレベーターボーイ時代の夢の方がまだマシだ。

*

財務大臣が辞任することにした。泥酔だったことを認めたようなものだ。会見で「すぐ手術ではない」と言っておられるが、外科施術と何の関係があるのだろう。

*

Only one round yesterday and but two rounds today.

Satoko Okazaki Got Nabbed Again

「覚せい剤：元五輪体操選手を所持容疑で逮捕」（毎日新聞電子版）。やっぱり、過去にも逮捕歴のあるあの人だった。ただ、「元五輪体操選手」と書かれてしまうことに、時間の経過を感じた。

Holiday in Rome?

中川一郎の子息で、酒豪と言われているらしい財務大臣がローマで日銀総裁とともに行った会見の様子を「YouTube」で見た。風邪薬の飲みすぎで、昼食で出されたワインは「ごっくんしていない」（朝日新聞電子版）とご本人は弁明しているが、大トラのようだ。あのような状態になるまでに、風邪薬はどれだけ飲めばいいのだろう。そこまで服用したとすれば、無知としか言いようがない。本当に風邪薬が原因なら、 秘書や財務省担当者は多量に服用している様子を見て、その量について何も注意しなかったのか。

踊りだしたり、オペラ風に歌いだしてくれたら、「いやぁ～、イタリアに来られたことがうれしくって」とシャレで済んだかもしれないのに。済むわけないな。

Another Two Rounds and Tired

Another two rounds today. I thought about going out for shochu. I changed my mind while waiting for the 174 bus at the Eu Tong Sen Bus Terminal. Physically so tired. No profit-creating work yesterday and today. Last night I found a number of pubs along Kampong Bahru Road. It is interesting to know what sort of night it shows me. Tonight, I met another neighbor. Or first I met her visitor waiting at the main door when I arrived in my second round. “Excuse me?” I said to him, who is so-called Caucasian and seemed in his late 40’s. He replied, “Oh, she is coming.” And “she” was, I believe, a Chinese lady whose nationality I have no idea of, though when I said, “Just moved in,” what she said to me was, “That’s okay.” Strange conversation. I was not asking for her permission to stay in the house. I guess the family I greeted yesterday is from the mainland, considering the whole family crammed into a space that should not be so different from mine. It is also interesting to see what kind of people are staying in the same house.

*

My friend told me this afternoon that he attended a birthday party held for the father of one of his friends. The friend is half-Japanese half-Malay. His father is Japanese. At that moment, I was thinking about only one man. “Maybe you know him. His name is XXXXXX.” Aha, that was just what I guessed! I would rather not be connected with that man in any way.

Moving Starts on Friday of 13th

I finally fell asleep after 9 am. When I woke up it was already 4:30 pm. I had an appointment at 6 pm to sign the rent contract. On this auspicious Friday of 13th, I started moving my stuff to Neil Road. I made two trips today carrying 60 Japanese books altogether. I have no idea how many trips it takes to complete the moving. But I know I have no choice but engaging a mover at least for the boxes of the accounting documents.

When I signing the rent contract, I noticed it said “Room 303.” I remembered the room I decided to rent was “302” and I had already sent out a letter for this address change to the bank. Then, I thought it would not be possible and maybe I mixed up things. Coming back to T.Bahru, I was still thinking about it and took another look at the two receipts I got last week. Both of them said “Room 302.” I immediately made a call, something I do not usually do, to the man from the management company to ask him whether there was something funny here. He said, “I made a mistake.” Now I have to produce another letter to the bank. I was not still convinced when I went to the place for the second time. But, I found a Chinese family in 302. It should have been an honest mistake on his part. The door of 302 was open and I had a moment’s look there. I said “I’ve just moved in” to whoever might be inside. I saw a woman who seemed in her 60’s and another woman maybe of her 30’s. A boy was also there. As I left, the door was still open and I saw a man with no shirt. He is probably the husband of the older woman.

Talking about 303, the biggest problem will be the toilet. The space is so tiny that it reminded me of the one I had at my Osaka apartment. And it looks like a public toilet cubicle as it is not really “sealed.” It is just smaller. When anyone who is bigger than the size of a small kid sits on it, the door comes right in front of the eyes. Though it has a drainage hole on its floor, it does not seem easy to keep it clean. I should have to clean it while I am sitting on it!

INSOMNIA

I declare me an insomniac.

*

In bed, I started “Essays” by Orwell. It is some years back I read this Penguin edition, which covers many essays that “All Art Is Propaganda” and “Facing Unpleasant Facts” also have.

In “Why I Write,” he writes “true fact.” A fact is always true. So this is redundant. In the same vein, in Singapore some people say and write “actual fact.” This is truly funny when we are not supposed to have a “false fact” or “unreal fact.”

*

It’s time for the trumpet call!

Rules of Birds

There is absolutely no point of complaining about the nature. Those tropical-jungle birds have a bigger claim to inhabit in this part of the world. They lead their lives according to the rules of the nature. I don’t. But the birds of at least two different kinds are so loud when they start greeting each other every morning at around 5:00 am. Last night I was having trouble to fall asleep. I got out of bed once at 2 am and thought about taking a few Epilim tablets, and decided not to, considering its unreliability. I returned to bed and began dozing off. One hour or so before dawn, they, as usual, started trumpet wake-up calls among them and to me too. I managed sound sleep only after they quieted down. This afternoon, I finished “Facing Unpleasant Facts: Narrative Essays.”

A Boy on Guard

本読んだ。小切手持って銀行行った。返却してほしいと言われた資料渡した。本読んだ。仕事した。I didn’t have a six-pack last night. I had only five cans. The last can was sleeping in the fridge.

*

"... of course the difference between home and school were more than physical... Your home might be far from perfect, but at least it was a place ruled by love rather than by fear, where you did not have to be perpetually on guard against the people surrounding you." ("Such, Such Were the Joys")

My experience was quite different. My home was the biggest sanctuary, but it was a sanctuary filled with tension. My school was an escape from home in many senses, but to my horror, my teachers believed my mother. Home or school, I was always on guard.

How To Devastate a Child

Recap of last Wednesday. Couldn’t sleep (after a six-pack). The dreadful dream of last night was coming back though I don’t know if that is the reason. In the dream, I was nervous but calm arranging the arrival of my mother’s siblings. They are coming for the last moment of her. She was shrunken to the size of a Chihuahua but still in an OK condition in spite of what the medical staffs were saying. I was also assisting her with the medication.

*

Orwell writes in “Such, Such Were the Joys” that “… I was in a world where it was not possible for me to be good.” That sort of feeling is rather devastating for a child. I myself would feel that I was surrounded by adult enemies, who would never find any good in me. They would only criticize me for whatever I did.

Place Found & Miss Q Unhappy

On Friday, I received a reply about a place and was invited to see it. I thought that it would be the 2nd story of an old shophouse and downstairs would be a small restaurant or something. Noisy until the wee hours. As I tried to gather information on the area on the web and even Google Earth, I found out it is located in a quite nice area that is actually conserved for historical reason. Late afternoon yesterday, I went out to see the place, which is located in the Outram area. It was, of course, an old structure. (That is why the area is conserved.) There were three apartments for renting in the three-story house with the rent going down as the floor goes up. Every one of them is equipped with a small kitchen and a bathroom (or shower space). More than anything else, I can have my own privacy as the apartment is self-contained and there are not many chances to live in a Peranakan house. Also because I didn’t want any more hassle about finding a place, I decided to take the cheapest one on the top floor and issued cheques on the spot, one for the management company and another for the agent. The guy from the management company: “From Korea or Japan? Are you doing interior design?” Do I look like a Korean or Japanese? (I do.) Do I look like any kind of designer? The agent: “You are lucky. They (a HK couple, who was also coming to see the house) also wanted to rent the place.” It may or may not be true. I’ll try to make the place as comfortable as I can. After all, I survived two years at Tomlinson!

Then Miss Q. I messaged her about my having found a place immediately after I left there. She, who was quite hard on me by saying, “you are not doing anything,” now replied, “Sounds fishy. Pre war house where got so cheap.” I’m not renting the whole house and told her how much the rent is. “Veri expensive.” Instead of congratulating me, she seemed unhappy about my choice. She complains about every decision I make. Funny.

I thought about going to CC straight from the house. Hopped on MRT and realized with the announcement that I was going to the wrong direction, that is, going home. Getting out of the station/shopping mall complex, I realized that I was taking the escalator to go to the wrong side of Tiong Bahru Road. My mind was not collected, obviously.

After all I went out again to go to CC, taking the correct bus. A group of friends, all Japanese, asked my friend and me to join them quite insistently. They planned to go to a “normal” pub where Thai girls gather. The place was rather large and loud and no Thai girl in sight. We decided to walk on to Duxton, where I think the structures should be also conserved but the whole stretch seems to be lined with Filipina pubs. We tried two, and both disappointment for my own reason. No way. However, I walked on to Chinatown alone, with all stupidity, to find the pub that I had visited before. Luckily, the place was gone.

“[Right] up to Pearl Harbour the American movie industry had an agreement with the Japanese Government never to present a Japanese character in an unfavourable light!” (“As I Please, 3” by George Orwell)

IS THIS REALLY TRUE?? I’ve never heard of this.

WMU & "You Are Not Doing Anything" Accusation

In the TODAY paper of a few days ago, I found an ad of a US university. It was by Western Michigan University (WMU) of Kalamazoo!! Back then, I met no student from this country though I had many Arabs, some from Thailand and Indonesia around me. 20 years on, WMU, a provincial school apparently, is now recruiting students here. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been able to stay there much longer. A useless attempt to imagine.

*

This afternoon, when I was about to wake up as always, Miss Q came and I stayed in bed for a while. She was interested to know what I had been doing to find a new place. Before I answered, she told me in her usual harsh and loud tone that I was “not doing anything.” My day was totally disturbed and I did no work today. But today there was one thing she did good for me. She reminded me that the neighbor is a property agent and I immediately decided to engage her. I now hope she will find something for me. Miss Q is now partly responsible by being the initiating party for suggesting that I take up her services.

My neighbor is expecting a baby, which is a mild surprise to me. I didn’t know that she is, of course. I see her just once in a few months and exchange greetings. Miss Q, after she left this flat, was very curious. “Have you seen her husband?” etc. etc. I haven’t. I’m not interested in my neighbor’s private life.

*

A British and a German historian would disagree deeply on many things [about WWI], even on fundamentals, but there would still be that body of, as it were, neutral fact on which neither would seriously challenge the other. (George Orwell in “Looking back on the Spanish War”)

Historians of Japan and China+Korea… They seem to me a bunch of shit.

The implied objective is… a nightmare world in which the Leader, or some ruling clique, controls not only the future but the past. If the Leader says of such and such an event, “It never happened” – well, it never happened. If he says that two and two are five – well, two and two are five. This prospect frightens me much more than bombs – and after our experiences of the last few years that is not a frivolous statement. (Orwell in “Looking back on the Spanish War”)

This is exactly the theme of his “Nineteen Eighty-four.” If he were here and wrote as he did in Britain, he would be in jail. His offence would be much more serious than those Kangaroo T-shirt guys.

Sleeping Early, Turning and Rolling

I went to bed at around mid night, and after some pages of “Facing Unpleasant Facts,” I pleasantly fell asleep. However, as has been the case recently, I woke up at 3:30 am. Then turning, twisting and rolling started. Got out of bed at 9:00 am, surprisingly early for me.

Two Naps

Slept from 10 am to noon, and again from 4:00 to 5:30 pm after depositing $$ into my home account to pay for the credit card bill. No real information about a new place yet. I’m getting desperate now. The current work is being cooked nicely though I had no "proper" meal today.

Sleepless Night

I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t. Some sleepiness came while I was reading pages of “Facing Unpleasant Facts.” After closing the book and turning off the light, it disappeared. This is mostly because of worries over the moving that has to be carried out quite soon but nothing has been achieved. Though I have been trying to find a new place, unwillingly facing this unpleasant fact, nothing positive has come out of it. Also, money issues involve here considering the cost for the moving and rent payments thereafter. My finance has begun improving only recently, and now I need to cough up who knows how much. Yesterday, I found myself counting money several times, whether in my head or with the calculator. Stupid.

Full-color Dreams

久しぶりに眠りが悪かった。夢は２つの部分に分かれて、最初がテレビ局、後が刑法の試験だった。どういう訳か、大阪の毎日放送で働いていて、そこにいくつかあるアナウンサーチームのひとつに属していた。何の仕事をしていたのかわからないが、打ち合わせ会議らしきものに出席していた。また、関西で発生した大地震の映像を見ていた。揺れに合わせて、濃淡緑の京阪電車の車両と線路を横切っていた車１台が上下に地面を離れてジャンプしていた。
刑法の試験はその準備に集まった数人の学生とまずいっしょだった。卒業に必要な単位の取得が確実だったのか、身の入った準備ではなかった。「刑罰と刑法の必要性の基礎となる６つの原則」すら、はっきり覚えておらず、困った。この学生グループのおかげで、その６原則ぐらいは思い出せたそう。実際の試験には穴埋め問題もあって、また問題用紙と答案用紙が同じ１枚で、答案を書き入れる場所を工夫するのに困っていた。動画を見てそれを説明する問題もあった。刑法担当はなぜか高校の化学の先生だった。それから試験準備をしている時に、この先生が学生が残したらしい荷物の入った大きな袋を持ってきた。自分には無関係だと思っていたが、見ると、見覚えある袋で中身はやはり自分の持ち物だった。謝った。フルカラーの夢だった。
はっきり目覚める何時間も前から、鼻からのどにかけて痛みを感じていた。口を開けて眠っていたに違いない。今日、「Panadol」３錠。後から多分もう１錠。自分が眠っている様子を録画録音したい。

Numbers Do Not Add up

やっぱり観客数が合わなかった。毎試合発表する観客数はシーズン終了後に必要があれば訂正され、変更されるのだろうか？日本のプロ野球は今日から春季キャンプ。ユニフォームをヘンテコにさせた先駆けだったが、今季からデザインをすっきりさせる埼玉西武ライオンズに期待しようか。文字や背番号をぼやけさせたり、縫い目に合わせて色を変えた、おもちゃみたいなユニフォームはやめて欲しい。

*

No luck and no strong willingness in finding a new place. I scrutinized the paper last night. A few looked nice, but no action has taken on my part. There are innumerable weaknesses that I have, and this is one.