Бесы & "I'm Here to Get Inspired"

This afternoon, I started Part 2 of Бесы (Demons). In Part 1, Dostoevsky prepared the characters so meticulously and I feel that the plot seems to have begun to congeal only Part 2. Eager to move on to find what is to come. Just as when I was reading Преступление и наказание (Crime and Punishment) a few years ago, I am amazed by his psychological descriptions and attention to minute details.

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I will not name them. But over some time, I have encountered occasions when I noticed the display of absurdity made by a few friends, all of them considered old enough. Their comments, obviously made inadvertently, and well-intentioned in some cases, were so far off the mark that I did not say anything, perhaps even nodded as if in agreement. I have to wonder why they dare demonstrate their quarter-baked knowledge especially about things that I can consider belonging to my fields. Since every one of these occasions, my perception towards them seemed to change. I always set the benchmark with myself as the zero point to avoid despicable traits like envy, arrogance, denigration and self-pity. I am here to get inspired. If I really cannot have anybody I can emulate around me, I may have no choice but to surround myself with other means. Sorry state.