Complicated Emotional State about Family

What’s really funny is that I was able to treat Mother just like a little girl only when I was not with Brother. With him, Mother would become Mother of that family, emotionally prohibiting me from behaving naturally. Alone with her, I touched her cheek with mine, which I couldn’t have done with Brother around.

Gordon's London Dry Gin Did Not Help Last Night

Last night I couldn’t sleep even with the help of almost half a bottle of Gordon’s London Dry Gin. I decided to start reading the latest copy of The Economist, which I bought the day before.

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It was only after 7:00am when I managed to get sleep and when this country usually has its daybreak.

I got out of the thin mat in the living space (not my bed in the bedroom) at 2:00pm, but my eyes opened a few times before that hour. I think that I saw my mother while dreaming. I don’t remember anything much else, but she seemed to be in her middle age.

Since the start of my “Ultra C Phil Plan,” my sleep has been troubled and since the end of it, it has become worse.

Yesterday, a common friend talked to the lady, who, according her, said, “the case will end soon.” Fuck. I have never seen any kind of draft agreement. In any event, the case only starts when her payment begins. Doesn’t she know it would take her so many months, even years, to complete her payment? She is unwise, stupid, and ignorant.